To begin….

To begin…. People can go on and on again about the struggles they go through daily. It’s pretty much a way of life. “Hi, how are you today?” And out streams the water from the dam. A simple question, turns into a complicated answer. Best part, no one notices that they even do this. You don’t know that you’re running the clock down with your day. You don’t know that the words you are speaking might be hurting the person you’re speaking them to. No one knows. Or is it… no one cares?

• “When are you going to have another baby?”
• “Don’t you think he needs another sibling?”
• “When are you giving me a grandchild?”
• “Do you want more kids?”
• “I wish I could get this pregnancy over with already! This absolutely sucks!”

5 things I hear almost daily that break apart my soul and pull my heart right out of my chest. But, you don’t know. You don’t know that what you say hurts me deep inside. You don’t know that when you say these things I want to cry so badly, but I show you a huge smile and go along with it. My responses don’t really help you know either.

“We’re thinking about it.” “I was almost 9 when I finally had a sibling. He’ll be okay for now.” “When you stop asking me.” “Of course I want more kids. At least 1 to 2 more.” “Just wait until you’re not pregnant anymore, and all you’ll miss is your belly and the kicks.”

I’ve learned how to hide my pain. Not talk about what’s going on. Why? Because no one wants to know what’s going on with you really. They just want to hear that you’re doing good. We’re all guilty of this. No one really wants to know the truth when you ask how they are, they always want the short lie.

Here’s the cold hard truth though…. infertility exists. Infertility sucks. Infertility is a cold subject. No one talks about it. But I want to talk about it. I want to bring light to it. I want to share my experiences, I want to hear your experiences. I want to have a safe place to be yourself and know that “Hi, how are you?” really means “how are you” here. We want deepness, we care, we love, we want to know what’s going on because you are important. Your struggles are important. How you feel is important.

Welcome.

-K.K.